


Bark Matter

by platonic_boner



Category: Dark Matter (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Raza Crew, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 14:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11442879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonic_boner/pseuds/platonic_boner
Summary: There’s an intruder on board the Raza.It turns out to be a puppy that nobody’s willing to take the blame for.





	Bark Matter

“Almost got it,” Android says.

The crew has been gathered on the bridge since the ship’s systems started failing an hour ago, and it’s been tense since then. Five is clutching Six’s hand - or maybe the other way around. Two is unbelievably sick of hearing One and Three bicker as they try to distract themselves from their impending doom, and is wondering if her old self would have put a bullet in them.

“The ship is back under control,” Android says. “The danger is over.”

Two releases a long breath and feels the rest of the crew relax as well. Their relief doesn’t last long, though.

“For now,” Three says. “Today some wires got cut and we lost control for nearly an hour. Yesterday half the medication in the infirmary got smashed. The day before that - ”

“We were all there,” One interrupts. “We get it. Somebody’s messing with the ship.”

Two’s been trying to avoid the thought, but they’re right: too many bad things have happened since they left the last space station, and they aren’t just coincidences. The Raza and her crew are being sabotaged.

“One could be right,” Two says. “We should search the ship for an intruder.”

She pairs them off and they set out to search.

*

Everyone trickles into the mess as they declare their sections empty. Five and Six are back first, and have gotten into some cookies by the time Two returns with One. Five offers Two a cookie with a tense smile. Finally, Three comes back without his partner, Four, and shrugs. 

“Said he thought of something else to check.”

“Sure,” One says, narrowing his eyes, which is all the accusation Three needs to take offense.

“What are you saying?” Three demands.

“I don’t know, what did you do?” One returns.

Five frowns. “I don’t think he could’ve done anything to Four,” she says. “Four’s faster and a better fighter than him.”

“Thanks a lot, kid,” Three grumbles.

Five smiles sunnily. “You’re welcome.”

Five’s defense fails to dissuade One from his interrogation of Three, though, and Two’s back to considering whether she’d be justified in shooting them if they don’t _shut up_.

“I’ve caught the intruder.” The welcome interruption comes from Four, who’s standing at the door, still partly in the hallway so only his right side is visible.

Everyone turns to look.

Four just stands there, entirely impassive.

“ _Well_?” One asks.

With a tiny smirk, Four shifts to the center of the doorway, so they can see what he’s holding.

Five squeals. 

“ _Seriously_?” Three says.

Four sets the puppy down. It wanders over to Six, who reaches down to pet its fluffy head, smiling. Five jumps up from her chair, abandoning her cookies in favour of sitting down next to the puppy and patting it. One joins her.

Two appraises the puppy. While it’s clearly young, it’s big already, and could quite easily have been the cause of the havoc they’d been experiencing over the past couple of days. It’s also pretty adorable (big-eyed, big-pawed, and fluffy) and One, Five, and Six are clearly infatuated. Three is, as usual, pretending not to care, and Four still looks wryly amused.

That doesn’t tell Two who brought the puppy on the ship.

“All right,” she says, standing up. “Who brought the puppy on board?”

Nobody answers her. 

“Seriously,” Two says. “I want to know who’s responsible for this thing.”

Three leans back in his chair and gives her a slow smirk. “Wait a minute,” he says. “Are you just asking us that so we won’t guess _you_ brought the puppy on board?”

One looks up from petting the puppy and says to Three, “Maybe _you’re_ just asking that so we won’t guess _you’re_ the one who brought the puppy on board.”

“As _if_ ,” Three says. “Sure. Give me the puppy. I’ll use it for target practice.”

One raises his eyebrows and looks around at everyone significantly. “There! Three wants us to give the puppy to him. Sorry - _back_ to him.”

“Fuck off,” Three says. “It’s pretty obvious who brought it on board the ship. The teenage girl.”

“Hey!” Five objects. “I find your stereotyping offensive. _Old man_.”

Three looks like he’s about to retort furiously, but Six raises his hands. “Guys! Guys, let’s all calm down. It’s just a puppy. It’s not that big a deal.”

Three leans forward and hisses in Six’s face, “ _Spoken like someone who brought the puppy on board_.”

“Does no one want to claim the dog?” Four asks.

“Not mine,” Three says. “ _Obviously_.”

Five crosses her arms and shakes her head. Six rolls his eyes. Nobody speaks up.

“Then I propose we space it.”

“No!” Five and One shout simultaneously. 

Six frowns at Four, and even Three shakes his head. “It’s just a puppy, man.”

Two sighs. “Do we _really_ need to get the android down here to tell us which one of you is lying?”

“No,” Three says, “Because it’s clearly the kid.”

“Weird how you’re the only one protesting the android testing us,” One says.

Two is not listening to any more of this. “Android,” she says into her comm. “Please come to the mess. We have a situation we need you to resolve.”

*

Android asks a set of preliminary questions to set a baseline, and then two puppy-related questions.

“Did you bring the puppy on board the ship?” she asks Five, who was voted to go first on the grounds that she was the most likely suspect.

Even Six had agreed with that, despite Five’s half betrayed, half outraged glare at him.

“ _No_ ,” Five says. 

“Did you have any knowledge of the puppy before Four discovered it?”

“No,” Five repeats. She pauses. “Well, actually, somebody ate all my peanut butter and it was probably the puppy - but I thought that was someone else.”

She glares at Three.

Three grins. “Wasn’t just the puppy, kid. That stuff’s good.”

Five huffs.

“Five is telling the truth,” Android says. “Who’s next?”

“Three,” One says immediately. 

Three glares at them all, and says, “I’m only doing this to clear my name.”

“So he wants to clear his name when we accuse him of liking puppies, but not when we accuse him of sabotage?” Five whispers to Two, although it’s audible to everyone.

Two smiles at her, glad she isn’t too upset about the conclusion everyone jumped to.

“Yep. I’ve got my priorities straight,” Three says. “All right, robot, do your thing.”

Three answers all the questions glaring straight at One, and denies having anything to do with the puppy. 

“Three is telling the truth,” Android confirms.

Three smirks. “Your turn,” he says to One.

One and then Six both pass the test.

“ _Now_ it’s getting interesting,” Three says. “Anybody wanna take bets? My money’s on boss lady.”

“She’s the one who _suggested_ using the android,” Six points outs.

“So, you saying your money’s on Four?” Three asks. “Great. Should we say three hundred credits?”

Six rolls his eyes.

Two looks at Four and raises an eyebrow. He’s the last person on the crew she would’ve guessed to have brought the puppy on board. Four returns her look without much expression. 

“After you,” he says, so Two takes the seat in front of Android.

Two is declared innocent, and then Four. 

“What, so the puppy just wandered onto the ship by itself?” Three asks.

“Guess so,” Six says.

“Great,” Three says. “Well, glad we sorted that out. If there’s anything _important_ you need me for, I’ll be in my quarters.”

“Wait,” Two says, before they can all disperse. “We need to decide what we’re going to do with the puppy.”

“I’ll take care of him!” Five offers.

“It needs to be trained,” Two says. “It can’t keep damaging the ship.”

“I can help train it,” Six says, and Five beams at him.

Two considers, then nods. “All right. You can keep it for now,” she says. “But if there are more incidents, or it’s too hard to train, we’ll have to drop it off on a station somewhere. Understand?”

“Got it,” Five says. “Can I name him Max?”

Two’s about to agree, but Three says, “Nope.”

“Why not?” Five demands.

“We call each other numbers, and the android’s name is Android. I’m not living on a ship where the dog has a more human name than I do,” Three says.

“You name your guns human names,” One argues.

“Yeah,” Three says. “So?”

“So what do you want to call him?” Five asks.

“Dog,” Three says. “We call the dog Dog.”

“Ignore Three,” Six says. “You can call him Max.”

“No,” Five decides. “I like Dog. It makes him seem like one of us.”

*

Two is heading onto the bridge later when she hears Five and Android talking up ahead. Dog’s standing next to Five; he’s started following her everywhere.

“You know, there’s someone on board we didn’t question about Dog,” Five says.

“I questioned the entire crew,” Android says.

“But not yourself,” Five says.

“Why would I want a puppy?” Android asks.

Five smiles up at her. “Because he’s really cute.”

“Yes,” Android says, and reaches down to pet Dog. “Yes, he is.”


End file.
